Rashes

Kiara and Rashes, oh how they make me panic, but now I'm come to the point of not panicking to much unless its all over the body, or the glass test shows up. I've been in and out the doctors with rashes on her, even went to the hospital once, most of them turned out to be prickly heat. 1 could of been an allergic reaction. This time it looks like Eczema, I rang the doctors to speak to someone and the nurse passed a message on saying I don't know what it its but it may just be milk spots. I think I'm right on saying its eczema, I didn't even tell the nurse what it looked like. Pfft! Doctos and nurses are terrible these days.

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Her smile...

I'm so happy I have her, 9 months was too long waiting and now I see myself watching her sleep, and those little smiles creeping up whilst she peacefully sleeps, then those little whimpers likes shes had a bad dream, makes me smile and feel sorry for her at the same time.  It all comes hard to me with her but all it takes is for her to smile at me and all the bad things seem to go away. she's my comfort when I'm upset, even If I do cry more because of thinking to myself ' If I ever lost her it would break my heart so much, I wouldn't know what to do' 
watching all the little things she does each day still amazes me, from the day she was born putting my finger in her hand and her griping it tight, to her now moving her hand to grab things from us. Those giggles when playing with her make me laugh too, to know shes happy. her mirroring things we do and learning something new ever day. I enjoy this so much.

I first became a mother on the 23rd of October 2009, to a Beautiful baby girl named Kiara. Labour went pretty well I think, ha. it was an emergency c-section. 9hours, I wasn't dilating and I had pre-eclampsia, a week over due she was. at first I was going through it fine, then I felt like I wanted to push and it definatly wasn't time to. so Sam, my Fiancee, asked the midwives about getting me some pain relief. 'Gas&Air' oh my it's a life saver, even if I was taking it when the contractions had finished. any way lets skip all the labour talk. When the took her out all I heard was her Cry, and that was it I knew my baby girl was here and alive, and I cried as soon as I heard her cry. It was definitely the happier time of my life. I had Sam by my side the whole time (minus when he got some thing to eat).
She was born at 11.11pm. 6 long days I was in the hospital, up and down from the labour suite and ward.  If my blood pressure went to high I'd be in the labour suite so that I had some one monitoring me all the time. then when it went back down to a suitable number I'd be back on the ward, where I hated it. If you wasn't of ethnic oriagin they didn't want to know that much. I found it quite annoying, but I must say Looking after Kiara in the hospital seemed quiet easy, I had the nack of things, watching everyone out the hospital window made me realise how busy life is out there, everyone rushing to appointments or to collect the child. I was enjoying the slow life inside hospital, because it was just me and Kiara I had to focus on, then Sam, family & friends who came in. I didn't have to cook or clean, just relax, well I say relax try to.
Once I came home the whole place felt alien, not like home it took me a few days to start settling in. thats when everything seemed to get harder at home, I was ringing family to double check things that I new the answer to, but just to make sure, that little bit of reasurance helped.